This past weekend we went to Cleveland for ConCoction. It was the first convention for the whole family. My only other experience with a convention was DeCon, so I was excited to see what one for the family would be like. I was not disappointed. As a parent with two kids on the autism spectrum going on any sort of vacation with them had seemed daunting but we decided to give it a try. ConCoction, thankfully, had an amazing kid program. Some of the staff were used to working with special needs kids on a regular basis and I cannot thank them enough for volunteering to be there to help.
The older two really enjoyed D&D so it looks like they will be doing more of that. They also really enjoyed playing werewolf even if the middle child cried a few times during it. Did I mention that they had an awesome staff?! Let’s see…one child was knighted and another had fun making a wand, which she loved doing and that thrills me to no end. I’m kinda a fan of Harry Potter and all things magical. The youngest spent most of the time at the pool working on requesting “more” in sign language. Let’s just say he’s requesting “more” of lots of things so far this week at home too. Besides all the time in the pool with the youngest, I was able to go to a few hours of a party late one night which was fun. Overall, it was a positive experience for us and I’m looking forward to going to more of them.
February was spent trying to get outside and enjoy all the crazy warm weather we could get. It got as high as 72 degrees! I know, crazy, right?! As of today, March 1st, it’s 60°, rainy, windy with some sunshine here & there. I love rainy days. They’re perfect for grabbing several blankets, a cup of tea or coffee, and a book or two to read.
My current books to read this week are :
- Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey (Really enjoying it so far)
“That which yields is not always weak.”
“We needs must study the whole warp and weft of it to predict the pattern on the loom.”
“For every victory,” Necthana whispered, her great dark eyes shining with a mother’s tears, “there is a price.”
-Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Dart
- Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things by Martina McAtee (Just started it but the beginning has my attention)
- Enemy of God by Bernard Cornwell (Amazon was having difficulties yesterday so I haven’t gotten to this one like I wanted to)
- Neuromancer by William Gibson (I’m over halfway through and I love it so far. I’m not sure why I haven’t read this one until now)
“Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts… A graphic representation of data abstracted from banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding…”
“Things aren’t different. Things are things.”
“His eyes were eggs of unstable crystal, vibrating with a frequency whose name was rain and the sound of trains, suddenly sprouting a humming forest of hair-fine glass spines.”
“´Wonderful´, the Flatline said,´I never did like to do anything simple when I could do it ass-backwards.´”
-William Gibson, Neuromancer
So…January was…a good month for us here. Let’s see. We rang in the new year with going to bed early. lol Life of a parent. The kids have had quite a few days off this month with this coming Friday off as well. My OBGYN appointment wasn’t very fun especially since I had to take my youngest with me but that’s life. We made it work, screaming and all.
I finally made it out to a convention, DeCONpression. It was a relaxed one and I enjoyed that. I had fun at the party I went to and also watched a game of Battle Tech. Apparently it’s been around forever but I’m just getting into tabletop games so it was nice to find one that I think the kids would enjoy too. As soon as the tax return comes in it will be purchased. I’m not sure if the kids are more excited to play or paint the mechs. lol Plans for Marcon will also be made at that time with the possibility of Origins as well. Those would include the kids so extra planning is needed. SCA is still on my radar but I’m just going with one step at a time. That’s a whole other thing that may or may not include the kids…well most likely will and quite possibly just me and the kids. So there it is.
My youngest started OT and Speech together. So far so good. I’m hoping it just keeps getting better for him here on out even with all the changes going on politically that could have a major impact. It looks like we have a few more things to purchase for him. He’s really doing well with the big button and tries to repeat the word which is huge for him. This Friday should be interesting with having a substitute OT person in for him and the other two siblings along for the ride. On the bright side, they are spending the night at their grandparents so this mama is thrilled for the time off. Whoo!
I’m not sure what February holds in the cards for me but I’m hoping they are good things. I’m really hoping this political mess just stops, highly unlikely but one can hope.
Continue reading January 2017
This past week I had an obgyn appointment. This appointment wasn’t for the usual things. I started to have bleeding problems again. My body does not take well to birth control. I’ve tried the pill. I ended up getting pregnant with my second child on said pill. I tried the shot but I had to get one every 2 months instead of 3 because my body decided it wanted to continuously bleed otherwise. I currently have Mirena. I bled a ton the first year and had to take the pill as well to help stop the bleeding. After a year of that I just have the Mirena currently. Now, with just a few months shy of 3 years I’m having issues again. So I was able to make an appointment but we only discussed a few options and what might be the cause. Of course, my bleeding had stopped that day so I get to make an appointment again during my next cycle so that an ultrasound can be done to make sure everything looks good, specifically no cancerous polyps. So you can imagine how much I’m really not enjoying this. To make matters worse, while mid discussion the room next door had the heartbeat monitor cranked up. I have three kids. They may be a handful but I don’t regret them. I purposely didn’t get my tubes tied with my third c-section. And why I have gone through all of this bleeding hell. I wasn’t ready to call it even though hubby had a vasectomy years ago. So you know, this just sucks all the way around.
I know that he does not want to personally have anymore and I respect that. Does that mean if I am given the option to get my tubes tied I will take it? Probably not. I’m still fairly young. While I think having an abortion would suck I would do it. Yes, the dirty a word and all. I would choose abortion over full term and adoption. That may sound crazy to you but that’s what I can live with. I hate that abortion is such a terrible word in most discussions. You know what is upsetting, that we have starving homeless kids in the US. I find that worse than an abortion. Seriously.
I mean I’m a masochist but for fucksake I could do without some of this at the moment. Kink, I need kink and things. But I can manage. On the bright side, I will be attending my first convention next weekend. It should be fun. I’m not exactly sure how that’s all working out with the kids yet but I’m sure those details will be worked out here in the next week. Yay for doing something new! Now, hopefully I will be able to go to sleep. 💤
This… this is what I have been telling myself this year. We are all complicated in some way. Life is messy. I’ve got more things I’m afraid of doing than I care to admit. But show up anyway. This year I’ve been happy that I have. I’ve had fun, felt listened to and cared for this year amongst all the craziness of life. While I wouldn’t say 2016 has been a great year overall, it has had great moments spread throughout. I’ll take all those moments I can get.
Happy Holidays! Hope everyone is enjoying time with their loved ones. It seems like the past few days we have been in full celebration mode. The kids were kept busy by visiting with extended family which turned into going from one house to the other than back home. It worked out rather well. Maybe this will be a new thing.
With 2017 approaching it’s that time where most of us reflect on the past year. Wow, has it been a year. The first part was filled with hubby starting a new job which switched up some things for us. Things that we used to go to together are now just me attending while I also added some extra time during the week. It’s not the first time for this so I’m not sure if it’s a cycle or just how it will be from now on, only time will tell. He’s taken to online gaming more and hanging out with them. I’ve been able to get the kids out and about more to make more memories with the kids and capture it through photos even if they aren’t always the best quality. We managed the Renaissance Festival, Dublin Irish Festival and hoping to make it out to a SCA event at some point. (a little bit at a time) Hubby and I are still getting our time, without kids, mixed in with all of this.
I’ve also shut down a blog. Sometimes I miss that one but sometimes you just need to cut ties to certain things. I’ve tried to get back to one of my other blogs. I just have to remind myself to take baby steps and be okay with not being able to do what I used to with that blog including social media. I’ve started this one and have not posted as much as I have wanted but I’ve been happy with what I have done. There are still things I wish to blog about but they don’t fit into the blogs I currently have so another blog will be added.
I’ve learned to let go of things that are out of my control while focusing on what things I do have control of. I’m still adjusting to being ex-mormon and poly. You would think I would be adjusted by now but trying to let go of all of that baggage is hard. It doesn’t help that over the holiday I had to hear about my shirt because it only had one sleeve instead of two. Gasp! I showed my shoulder. This is the sort of shit I have to deal with and the internal shaming that I have to override from years of hearing it. That’s just the whole appearance of modesty side.
I’ve tried to read more. I’m still nowhere near what I used to do but since my youngest requires constant supervision that leaves when he goes to school for a few hours or bedtime. I’ve recently been catching up on some tv shows and started new ones such as West World and Shadowhunters. Still need to catch up on Stitchers and watch the new Gilmore Girls episodes. I’ve managed to get out to the movies more this year than last year and really enjoyed the ones I did see. While I haven’t made it to any conventions this year I’m hoping to do so in 2017.
This year has definitely been about finding balance. It’s not perfect but it’s getting better.
We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?
– The Doctor
It would seem that December is well underway. The Yule tree is up. The kids even managed to visit Santa at the local library. It was the first time the kids have done so and I even was able to get a picture. The funny part was that you had to go through the bathrooms to get to where Santa was due to the library and the municipal court sharing the same bathroom. I kinda felt like the toilets should be involved to make it like the Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. How often must you go through the bathroom to get to see Santa?! It definitely made me smile. The rest of the time the kids had fun listening to the music, eating cookies, and enjoying the crafts, mainly my middle child, that they had. My youngest was also really well behaved for how loud it was and how many people there were.
Letters have been written, decorated(glitterized), and sent off to Santa. Almost all the gifts have been obtained.(Thanksfully) I think the only ones left are the books each of them asked for then it is on to wrapping them. I prefer to have them all wrapped before Christmas Eve. It’s hard enough to get them in bed let alone try to wrap gifts with them around.
Unfortunately we are still running into issues with my youngest and the GPS system that we got for him. I did visit for a day as mentioned in the past post but it didn’t go so well. One of the benefits to sending him to a public preschool is to help with social interaction. He’s in his own world for the most part, if you will. I did not see any parallel play, nor being encouraged to do such with the help of an adult. It took two adults to get him to paint which he will occasionally do when his siblings are both doing so at home. So that was discouraging. He did well with 1 on 1 time away from the class but it was for such a short period of time. He sits in a certain chair and I have seen him sit in a basket which I’m trying to break that habit at home as he tries to put baskets on his dinner chair to sit in. It’s not safe and really he can sit just fine and does at home. He eats snack by himself which is different from past years and seems to be alienated from his peers either by his, theirs or a combination of both. It’s sad but there you have it. At this time his GPS has not been sent to school with him due to the hubby and I not wanting to grant anyone at school use of the device and have control during school hours no matter if he is there or not due to being sick. If the school keeps insisting we may buy something different for school hours. (sigh)
He has a speech eval tomorrow so I’m hoping that once that gets going we will see more improvement like we have since he has started OT, at least we’ve noticed improvement at home and day to day things. One more step forward.
Overall things are moving along, even with the school issues. Life rarely is smooth going. I’ve still got books I haven’t got to this year and pictures to put into my journal, and lists to contemplate and make (attended the ending of a class on Polyamory and good points were brought up with an emphasis on various personal lists). The class and discussion are still on my mind but has had to take a back seat when kid issues popped-up. At this point I’m not sure if that’s a blog post for this blog or different one. I’m going to leave you with B.B. King – Lucille & Happy Birthday Blues. I was lucky enough to go see him when I was younger. Sometimes you just got to play the Blues, listen to the instruments talk to each other and let the music move you.
It’s officially the time of year where I get to hear about baby jesus and even the remote mention of “christmas” gives family a little hope that I might go back to christianity. (that’s not happening) The past few years I’ve been trying to start some new traditions with the kids. This has been slow going but little changes are being made here and there. I recently requested christmas, hanukkah, yule, and winter solstice books from the library. I’m hoping the kids will find a few new ones that they like that we can add to our collection during this season. I also added in a few behavior books due to the problems mentioned in my last post. It never hurts to read books about better behaviors but after spending today visiting/observing him in class I’m pretty sure we got a bigger problem. He really needs a person dedicated to just him while there. But that’s a whole other post itself and today is not that day. So…
The kids and I were regaled by zombie jesus’ birth at my parents house a few Saturdays ago so I decided to finish How to Train Your Dragon (audiobook) while our yule tree was being decorated. The kids had wanted to put the ornaments on it earlier but a third of the lights on our tree were out so with a little bit of time, a broken bulb found/replaced, several bulbs switched from one place to another and the tree lit up. 😶 The ornaments were hung several on a single branch at a time (It took years to get used to seeing all the ornaments clustered together) while laughing along with the book. All that was left was the tree topper which cannot be found. I have no idea where I packed it away. Thankfully the kids haven’t missed it so I might just decide to replace it with another one. There are a few other things planned or hoping to plan for December but for the most part I’m keeping it low key.
I’ve taken some time to process the shit storm that happened this past Tuesday. Sadly I was hoping that this one wasn’t going to actually happen but I was, in some ways, already bracing for it. Some background information, both of my sons are autistic. My oldest son had the right teacher for him in preschool and subsequent years. He is now in 1st grade and is keeping up with his classmates. My youngest son hasn’t made the same progress in preschool. The previous teacher that my oldest had left to work for another school but still tutors him, thankfully. Unfortunately the current preschool teachers and current director all came from the first preschool that I pulled my oldest from. It looks like we are having the same problem with them at this school. I would say I’m surprised, but I’m really not. (sigh) Last year he did okay, but this year he is without the extra help because she has college in the morning. Instead of putting my son in the morning to be with her they put him in the afternoon without the extra help. He’s nonverbal and very active. Seriously, that was my first indication things might go wrong this year. This means he cannot tell me how his day went. If kids have been mean to him. If the teachers ignore him. If he feels cared for or even if he is.
This past Tuesday I sat in a meeting with his teacher, the school occupational therapist, and one other. I heard about how my son has been hitting and biting kids and teachers. I have not received a single report home about this. Not One! To add to it, there apparently have been two intervention specialists in to observe his behavior. Yet again, not one note home about it. In their words, once was on his worst day and the other on the best which happened to be after the only OT appointment I have taken him to up at Children’s before school. He usually has OT on his day off, every other Friday. Funny enough, the OT that he gets at Children’s seems to be so much better for him than what he is getting at school, or one can only really conclude that at this point. What really pisses me off is that they want me to sign a paper in order for them to discuss my son with his OT at Children’s to get ideas how to “help” him. Bullshit. The OT at school has a degree it’s not someone elses job to do her job. I get it. She has a whole school system but it is more than his lack of adequate OT at school that is a problem. No, if he is having these behavioral issues it’s already gotten out of hand with no person dedicated to just him I don’t see how it can be corrected there at this point. I can’t even type this without being so upset I’m crying. He’s nonverbal. My baby has been going to school dealing with who knows what. He hasn’t bitten anyone at home, thankfully. He hits occasionally but it’s pretty rare here. It usually only happens when he is really frustrated. If he is doing all that at school chances are he is having a hell of a time at school. It breaks my heart.
I already had a scheduled visit to another school set up thanks to my oldest son’s preschool teacher mentioned above for my youngest. I have no doubt at this point that she heard about my youngest, either way I’m just grateful she is helping. It’s just thinking about changing schools for my youngest has me anticipating some meltdowns. He doesn’t deal with change very well. I’m really not sure how I’m going to keep sending him to school until I find something else. So I’m hoping that the visit this coming week will go well. If not that somehow we will be able to find the right one or solution for my youngest.