This… this is what I have been telling myself this year. We are all complicated in some way. Life is messy. I’ve got more things I’m afraid of doing than I care to admit. But show up anyway. This year I’ve been happy that I have. I’ve had fun, felt listened to and cared for this year amongst all the craziness of life. While I wouldn’t say 2016 has been a great year overall, it has had great moments spread throughout. I’ll take all those moments I can get.
Happy Holidays! Hope everyone is enjoying time with their loved ones. It seems like the past few days we have been in full celebration mode. The kids were kept busy by visiting with extended family which turned into going from one house to the other than back home. It worked out rather well. Maybe this will be a new thing.
With 2017 approaching it’s that time where most of us reflect on the past year. Wow, has it been a year. The first part was filled with hubby starting a new job which switched up some things for us. Things that we used to go to together are now just me attending while I also added some extra time during the week. It’s not the first time for this so I’m not sure if it’s a cycle or just how it will be from now on, only time will tell. He’s taken to online gaming more and hanging out with them. I’ve been able to get the kids out and about more to make more memories with the kids and capture it through photos even if they aren’t always the best quality. We managed the Renaissance Festival, Dublin Irish Festival and hoping to make it out to a SCA event at some point. (a little bit at a time) Hubby and I are still getting our time, without kids, mixed in with all of this.
I’ve also shut down a blog. Sometimes I miss that one but sometimes you just need to cut ties to certain things. I’ve tried to get back to one of my other blogs. I just have to remind myself to take baby steps and be okay with not being able to do what I used to with that blog including social media. I’ve started this one and have not posted as much as I have wanted but I’ve been happy with what I have done. There are still things I wish to blog about but they don’t fit into the blogs I currently have so another blog will be added.
I’ve learned to let go of things that are out of my control while focusing on what things I do have control of. I’m still adjusting to being ex-mormon and poly. You would think I would be adjusted by now but trying to let go of all of that baggage is hard. It doesn’t help that over the holiday I had to hear about my shirt because it only had one sleeve instead of two. Gasp! I showed my shoulder. This is the sort of shit I have to deal with and the internal shaming that I have to override from years of hearing it. That’s just the whole appearance of modesty side.
I’ve tried to read more. I’m still nowhere near what I used to do but since my youngest requires constant supervision that leaves when he goes to school for a few hours or bedtime. I’ve recently been catching up on some tv shows and started new ones such as West World and Shadowhunters. Still need to catch up on Stitchers and watch the new Gilmore Girls episodes. I’ve managed to get out to the movies more this year than last year and really enjoyed the ones I did see. While I haven’t made it to any conventions this year I’m hoping to do so in 2017.
This year has definitely been about finding balance. It’s not perfect but it’s getting better.
We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?
– The Doctor
It would seem that December is well underway. The Yule tree is up. The kids even managed to visit Santa at the local library. It was the first time the kids have done so and I even was able to get a picture. The funny part was that you had to go through the bathrooms to get to where Santa was due to the library and the municipal court sharing the same bathroom. I kinda felt like the toilets should be involved to make it like the Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. How often must you go through the bathroom to get to see Santa?! It definitely made me smile. The rest of the time the kids had fun listening to the music, eating cookies, and enjoying the crafts, mainly my middle child, that they had. My youngest was also really well behaved for how loud it was and how many people there were.
Letters have been written, decorated(glitterized), and sent off to Santa. Almost all the gifts have been obtained.(Thanksfully) I think the only ones left are the books each of them asked for then it is on to wrapping them. I prefer to have them all wrapped before Christmas Eve. It’s hard enough to get them in bed let alone try to wrap gifts with them around.
Unfortunately we are still running into issues with my youngest and the GPS system that we got for him. I did visit for a day as mentioned in the past post but it didn’t go so well. One of the benefits to sending him to a public preschool is to help with social interaction. He’s in his own world for the most part, if you will. I did not see any parallel play, nor being encouraged to do such with the help of an adult. It took two adults to get him to paint which he will occasionally do when his siblings are both doing so at home. So that was discouraging. He did well with 1 on 1 time away from the class but it was for such a short period of time. He sits in a certain chair and I have seen him sit in a basket which I’m trying to break that habit at home as he tries to put baskets on his dinner chair to sit in. It’s not safe and really he can sit just fine and does at home. He eats snack by himself which is different from past years and seems to be alienated from his peers either by his, theirs or a combination of both. It’s sad but there you have it. At this time his GPS has not been sent to school with him due to the hubby and I not wanting to grant anyone at school use of the device and have control during school hours no matter if he is there or not due to being sick. If the school keeps insisting we may buy something different for school hours. (sigh)
He has a speech eval tomorrow so I’m hoping that once that gets going we will see more improvement like we have since he has started OT, at least we’ve noticed improvement at home and day to day things. One more step forward.
Overall things are moving along, even with the school issues. Life rarely is smooth going. I’ve still got books I haven’t got to this year and pictures to put into my journal, and lists to contemplate and make (attended the ending of a class on Polyamory and good points were brought up with an emphasis on various personal lists). The class and discussion are still on my mind but has had to take a back seat when kid issues popped-up. At this point I’m not sure if that’s a blog post for this blog or different one. I’m going to leave you with B.B. King – Lucille & Happy Birthday Blues. I was lucky enough to go see him when I was younger. Sometimes you just got to play the Blues, listen to the instruments talk to each other and let the music move you.
It’s officially the time of year where I get to hear about baby jesus and even the remote mention of “christmas” gives family a little hope that I might go back to christianity. (that’s not happening) The past few years I’ve been trying to start some new traditions with the kids. This has been slow going but little changes are being made here and there. I recently requested christmas, hanukkah, yule, and winter solstice books from the library. I’m hoping the kids will find a few new ones that they like that we can add to our collection during this season. I also added in a few behavior books due to the problems mentioned in my last post. It never hurts to read books about better behaviors but after spending today visiting/observing him in class I’m pretty sure we got a bigger problem. He really needs a person dedicated to just him while there. But that’s a whole other post itself and today is not that day. So…
The kids and I were regaled by zombie jesus’ birth at my parents house a few Saturdays ago so I decided to finish How to Train Your Dragon (audiobook) while our yule tree was being decorated. The kids had wanted to put the ornaments on it earlier but a third of the lights on our tree were out so with a little bit of time, a broken bulb found/replaced, several bulbs switched from one place to another and the tree lit up. 😶 The ornaments were hung several on a single branch at a time (It took years to get used to seeing all the ornaments clustered together) while laughing along with the book. All that was left was the tree topper which cannot be found. I have no idea where I packed it away. Thankfully the kids haven’t missed it so I might just decide to replace it with another one. There are a few other things planned or hoping to plan for December but for the most part I’m keeping it low key.